Not sure what to write about today. There are tons of things circling around in my brain but they tend to be on the negative side of the fence as of late. From the last series of events I can't help but look at Ghana through a negative lens. From the crazy altercation with the landlady to the continued unfriendliness in what's supposed to be regarded as one of the most friendliest countries in Africa, I'm confused. Did something go awry here that I'm not aware of? Have I turned into an evil expat without realizing it?
Coming to Africa presented itself with many unknowns which excited me. I was eager to embrace a new culture and way of life. I was quick to leave the creature comforts of home in the US. This was an adventure to be had with my new husband and we were going to learn and grow together.
And it has indeed been all of those things and more. There have been the expectant highs and lows. We've been away from the states for just over 3 months now and at times it feels like an eternity and at others it feels like we haven't been away from the city life long enough. Either way you look at it, it's been amazing. I've learned so much about myself as well as Brian and our relationship with one another. More specifically, I've learned:
- When faced with confrontation Brian is the most cool, calm and collected person I know
- When faced with confrontation I am the first to try and smooth things over or simply run away as demonstrated with the recent jumping from a moving car
- When experiencing challenges like the intense 2 hour hike to Wli upper falls, I nor Brian complained one time but instead cheered each other on as a true team
- When I'm scared about the unknowns Brian is there to comfort me
- When Brian gets frustrated with work I'm there to make him laugh
- When I catch Brian picking his nose I pick mine right along with him (j/k about me...)
- When Brian can't find his wallet, keys, money pouch or phone, I know exactly where they are
- When I forget to tuck in the shower curtain and create a massive lake on the floor, Brian is there to assess the situation and tell me what I did wrong
- When all I can find to eat are meat filled pastries, Brian knows exactly where to find me some fruit
- When it comes to negotiating, Brian is savvy and quick and can get us a good deal without disrespecting the seller
- When it comes to bargaining, I've found I too can play a good game and get a good price
- When it comes to photography, Brian has become a master at this craft and continues to shock and awe me
- When it comes to compassion, I didn't know I could have so much
- When it comes to love, it only continues to grow between us
Brian and I have always known the gifts God gave us were different from one another. The things that bring us together are also the things that define us as individuals. On Monday, we both attended a TechnoServe HR offsite that focused on personality roles and communication in teams. From the various exercises, we learned our personality outcomes to be of the complete opposite. Mine was described as Supportive and Brian's Directive. This is what the HR handbook revealed:
- In relationships with Supportives, they support their feelings by showing personal interest. Assume they will take everything personally. Allow them time to trust you. Provide guarantees and personal assurances that any actions will involve a minimum of risk. Above all, be warm and sincere.
- In relationships with Directives, support their goals and objectives. Keep your relationship businesslike. If you disagree, argue facts, not personal feelings. Be precise, efficient, and well organized. Above all, be efficient and competent.
Now of course, we are both not all of these things all of the time. We each hold other aspects to our personalities but these were the general buckets we fell into. I can really see the supportive side of myself and I can see the directive in Brian. And even though these are on opposite sides of the tracks, together they make us an impressive team. A team that takes risks, makes mistakes and succeeds. A team that despite the hurdles we may face in Ghana we will face them together, as a team. Team Feth to be exact, kind of like the A Team but without the sweet van :)
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